Caitlin V., MPH, Resident Sexologist at Royal, is a sex and relationship coach who helps people gain confidence, satisfaction, and deep transformation both inside and outside the bedroom.Visit for more full content www.caitlinvneal.com
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5 Most Common Mistakes Men Make When Women Pull Away
Last longer in bed, have more sex in your relationship, become an amazing lover. Watch Caitlin V as she shares sex tips, relationship advice, and personal insights here on YouTube.
42 Comments
42 Comments
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When my ex-wife pulled away and eventually left me, she did me a favor. Best thing that ever happened to me was when I made the decision that if she actually walked out the door, I wouldn't take her back.
I'm remarried to the woman of my dreams and have flourished posr divorce.
Catelyn, thank you so much for putting values on my thoughts. The information that you exchanged with me has gave me a new perspective on how to treat a lady and how a lady should treat a man you’re awesome.
Nope
Brilliant
If a woman pulls away, she can just keep going. I don't need those games.😊
Toxic femininity, pulling away without communicating effectively.
If she wants to pull away and it’s genuine, let her fly away.
If it’s a game, let her fly away.
Promise you, when people do this, there’s no amazing relationship you missed out on. Don’t romanticize someone who thinks that little of you.
You’re two ships that passed in the night.
My experience with Great Habit #2 is she would give a bullshit answer (it’s fine, you’re imagining it, etc).
1 and 2 seem to contradict to me.
I realize this video was posted a long time ago, and I’m pretty sure I’ve actually watched it before. But I’ve been thinking of my ex-girlfriend a lot lately (wondering where I went wrong and could I ever reunite with her) and I needed this… Your words hit me like a truth gut punch, and I can see how poorly I handled things when the relationship ended. Thank you for helping me see clearly. ♥️
Excellent reasoned advice!
Toxic Masculinity?? That’s just stupid Caitlin, you’re better than that, women exhibit the exact same behavior, it’s just toxic behavior, masculinity isn’t toxic.
Confused, how do you not chase, but not pull away, too?
Not doing exactly what she wants. Having boundaries. Telling her no. Having your own life. Not paying for everything. Not worshiping her. Not having enough money. Not being tall, handsome, and wealthy.
The way people express anger ; I think it has something to do with nurture , how a person grew up , watching his surrounding people and seeing how they express anger. Unbeknowest to them , they express anger that way too.
Catlin, I can buy that you know a lot about sex and most of the side roads that go with it (you are very informative and pleasant/fun/cute) but when you say, "…maybe you're in love, {whatever that means}…", the idea that, "I should take dating/love/relationship advise from this woman", is not what's coming to mind. If you are veering toward giving love/relationship advise along with sex advice, minimizing and flippancy may not fly with your new audience as well. How would someone seeking relationship advise decide to choose someone who is evidently, dismissive of what they desire? Was it a Freudian slip?
Hey is it me or do these habits haunt males and females alike? Cause ive seen both gender exhibit these awful habits and they´re a mood killer for either…
❤️ 👍
The first two points seem contradicting. Isn’t not chasing the same as pulling away?
Sometimes they just get board. And want someone fresh. Or the person she fell in love with at the beginning. Seems to be changing to her.
I disagree with your video Caitlin! (and that is RARE indeed) So first you say DON'T CHASE her because you'll be seen as WEAK. Then you say DON'T PULL AWAY in retaliation to her pulling away. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…??? So don't chase and don't pull away. We're just supposed to be copasetic. We're simply the moon. It's whatever SHE dictates because SHE'S the center of the universe. I call BS. And to the point of expressing anger and disappointment. Why is it every OTHER emotion or desire is okay – beat your meat, masturbation is good for you! But expressing your anger if your partner took, took and took from you – all your emotional energy, physical energy, mental energy, TIME that can't be reclaimed, and exploited your generosity in all that YOU provided and YEARS into it with no explanation just starts pulling away…and we're supposed to put flowers in our hair (I'm bald) and put on a pretty dress and skip down the golden brick path into the sunset while SHE pulls away…and don't you dare be angry or let any of that out…no, no, no Mr. Bad Man. That man was METAPHORICALLY VIOLENTLY RAPED – all the innocence, love and TIME lost, crushed, destroyed…and MEN should just take it on the chin…don't say or do anything…I think this is the first time I can say that your polyamorous lifestyle really jaded your advice to the detriment of your subscribers. I think you need to redo this video and be less critical of the MAN in this scenario and more critical of the WOMAN. As evolved as we (think) claim we are in this day and age, the WOMAN should not GHOST the person gradually that has invested his life in her and generously provided for all her needs. I think this is one of your worst videos to date. Mostly everything else of yours I've listened to I've enjoyed – thank you.
It's OK for girls to pull away but not the guy. I've always loved that little ploy.
I was dating a woman who I got along with swimmingly but my job took me to another country. We talked with each other several times per week and made plans for me to visit her after a few months. I still really liked her but I didn't feel like the long-distance thing was working and decided to break it off when I visited. When I got there she told me that she had some bad news and then told me that she thought we should break up. She was expecting me to complain and try to justify keeping it going, and actually looked really hurt when I told her "Great I was going to tell you the same thing that a long-distance relationship was not working and we should call it quits." I told her I would stay somewhere else but she insisted I stay the week with her and by the end of the week she was begging for me to keep it going. I told her that as great as the week was that we still had the same problems with living in different countries. I wished her well and never looked back. I didn't burn the bridge but I never went back across it…
Some great comments and tips! For me it’s an opportunity for self-assessment; am I being my best self? If I step on the other side of the table and look at me, from her eyes, what is in my control that I can do to be better? Or do I even need to be better? If I want to find another woman like or similar to her, what do I need to do to improve or increase my value? And, do I even want to make adjustments? Am I already happy with who I am?
I really like your comments about the direct talk and observations. The relationship takes two, and if she is pulling away – if she is – there could be SO many reasons that don’t even have to do with me. I try not to take it personal.
The woman I am dating did that recently. We had a rare strident disagreement, and I gave her some space for a week or so. Yep, I got the silent treatment. I reached out to her and suggested we go out for a bike ride, and she accepted. The air was a bit strained at first, but we eventually eased into our time together and had some good conversation after the ride. I hugged her and said “hey, I don’t like it when we have moments like this. I feel we have a good thing going here, we have a ton of things in common and enjoy each other’s company, and I commit to working through this as I think we are worth it”. Hey, things are better, but we still need to have some hard talks. But, that’s part of being in a relationship – it continually requires both to be present and committed because relationships require work. Anything worth building requires work.
Thank you Caitlin!
If ANYONE pulls away from you, just let them. People don't owe you anything at the end of the day, just focus on being the best person you can and consequently, peoples behaviours will probably end up reflecting that 🙂
5 Bad Habits
# 1.) Very true
# 2.) Maybe. Not in my case. I've pulled away in response, because I've never felt a lover is a necessity. So, pull away and I respond by pulling away and feeling more freedom. Women have always pursued me. So, pulling away seems stupid.
Thank You! This really helped me .freshly divorced.
How do you execute #2 (not returning the coldness) without violating #1 (not chasing her)?
Don’t listen to this nonsense…..don’t drink beer…..drink protein shakes get the fuck in the gym and crush shit…..beers not gonna fucking help you…..but a shredded mid section and one way ticket to the gun show will…..then we’ll see who comes running back
I know you probably won’t respond. But most of your videos hit way too close to home. It’s showing me everything I’ve done wrong in previous relationships but how do I fix it. I’ve always struggled with fixing myself. I just learned i have anxious attachment. I also learned that I am toxic cause how I sometimes handle things. I know first answer is to seek therapy. Which I’m already doing. However I want to be able to be happy and find my last relationship but feel that it won’t happen cause it will tale to long to fix myself. But I appreciate your videos it’s showing me everything I’ve been doing wrong and how pathetic I truly am. Thank you. Now to try to work on not being so pathetic
The toxic masculine talk…the reason dudes act like that-it’s typically younger dudes…it’s Bc humans have typically, especially in western culture, have been monogamous, and typically they had that one person. I have slept with tons of women and still do. I’d trade every single one of those random women/short term women-for one decent woman who actually loved me. So all toxic masculinity is, is a response to the death of a long lived culture that’s bred into us. I suffered with it from 18/25…then I learned. These women are a commodity, not a lover. So just don’t care, Bc they really aren’t worth it-and they will like you even more. We have all the value dudes
Playing games is for children just be honest
Hold up. Women fight too, get angry too in confrontational situations. I think its a little disingenuous to suggest that men get angry and aggressive,. Women are passive aggressive. That's even more intense of a weapon in an argument.
There’s a lot of truth to this. Almost every strong relationship I know of contained a breakup for a while. Committing to someone is a big deal. We all need time to reflect and sort through the logic without the fog of emotions getting in the way. By getting space for a period gives both an opportunity to evaluate the relationship. I am not saying that you can completely decouple the emotions. I am one of the few that gets a rush, just like a strong hit of drugs, at a certain point in a relationship. It’s hard to resist wanting to be with the source of the dopamine drop, especially when they are pulling away. Use the time to reflect and evaluate as emotion free as possible. Like Caitlin says, there are others out there if either of you fail the other one during the evaluation phase.
I am certainly not a great resource, but I am learning from my mistakes.
9:14 we’ll said earned my subscription
Her actions say she wants to be with me but her words say otherwise.
I wish the term "toxic masculinity" would just die already. Masculinity is never toxic. Masculinity means being kind to women, and expecting nothing in return. It means "women and children first" when you're helping load the life boats on a sinking ship. Masculinity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching. There is no such thing as toxic masculinity, only toxic "men"
really appreciate the advice to not fall for mindgames,
though I guess, self-concious people allready know that,
probably sais a lot about me, if I need to hear that advice ;P
5:29 No, this is not toxic masculinity,
there's nothing masculine about that kind of behaviour.
Edit: I do agree though that this behaviour is neither adult or mature
I am a bit confused about bad habit 2, you said that if she pulls away, you should not pull away to, and if your expecting her to extend the olive branch to you, then this is wrong and immature, so should you be extending the olive branch to her or just leave it be and move on?
Trust what she says and believe her actions . That clears it up nicely thanks for the insight..be honest so after all is said and done you don't feel like a lieing sack of skin cause they can only take your price if you let them .ps DONT LET THEM they won't give it back toodles
Biggest mood killer : having a opinion 🤣