Caitlin V., MPH, Resident Sexologist at Royal, is a sex and relationship coach who helps people gain confidence, satisfaction, and deep transformation both inside and outside the bedroom.Visit for more full content www.caitlinvneal.com
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How to Repair a Sexless Marriage | Sex and Relationship Coach | Caitlin V
Last longer in bed, have more sex in your relationship, become an amazing lover. Watch Caitlin V as she shares sex tips, relationship advice, and personal insights here on YouTube.
42 Comments
42 Comments
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My wife has determined i am not worthy of sex…8 Years sexless…i am lonely and rejected
Whatt about zero times in over a decade???
Went to marriage counseling for 10 years, Went without sex for 14 years. Stop initiating and it wasn't noticed. 26 years of my life wasted.
After 7-10 years of not even a kiss, it's insurmountable. Just going through the motions – she is completely happy with holding hands and nothing more. Insane to think that can hold a relationship together – she is unwilling to even try.
I find something subtle is passing by her from behind not touching anywhere except a hand of the hips, saying, excuse me. Often my wife will push her hips back as I pass. I think indirect ways like that are helpful at adding play to bring anticipation later.
Hey Caitlin, I was wondering if you had heard of, or had information about chemical castration as a way of solving a sexless marriage? I'm in this situation now, but I'm not going to cheat and we have young children and live in a blue state so divorce would ruin me financially. My wife will not go to counseling, or even discuss our sex life. I'm to a point that I just don't want to feel ANY sexual urges anymore when they can never be satisfied. I'm considering chemical castration, but I know in some states a spouse needs to give permission and some doctors will not even consider the treatment for a healthy man. Any information you have would be appreciated. Thanks!
I am giving myself a cutoff date, 2025. I can’t keep living so lonely and frustrated and disappointed and disrespected. I take care of my daughter and wife and work two jobs and take care of half if not more of housework and am doing therapy and couples counselling and still she is just the same shut down person. Had an amazing sex life and now it’s only happened half a dozen times in four years. I won’t do it anymore, I’ve become depressed and burnt out. First responder and trainer for a volunteer department. An “All in” dad and committed and loving husband who strives for the best for my family and myself. I’ve become desperate and feeling hopeless and pathetic a lot of days. Working on emotional intelligence and keeping me in my window of tolerance. 2024 is going to be amazing or horrible !
This is terrible advice. Talking does nothing for this. Cheat, leave or improve your attractiveness. Nothing else will work.
Seems like people keep coming across this video and it obviously hits a chord they recognise. Latest studies show not 20% sexless marriage rate but close to 40%. Yes, it’s true that the causes are many and varied and that therapy helps some cases BUT overall, the chances of a return to a satisfying sex-life for both parties is depressingly low. As divorce rates in the US near 60% and the incidence of married women having affairs nears 70%, equaling male infidelity, an alarming proportion of men are choosing NOT to marry at all. The impact of this on society is catastrophic in so many ways. Young men and women complain about each other and bitterness and resentment pollute so much of the relationship space. A reckoning is rapidly approaching……many young adults are exploring alternatives to monogamous marriage but the failure rate of these relationships is equal or higher than the status quo. Whilst therapists often proclaim success, the reality is dismal…….loads of miserable folk who feel conned, scammed and betrayed by fairy-tales about love and marriage. Increasingly, it seems marriage requires a unique type of advanced degree to navigate and betrayal, whether by cheating or by neglect or abandonment, is an all too common experience, it seems like we are in the midst of our own Fall of the Roman Empire!!
Been there, divorced now
Wow I love you baby ❤️🌹🫦🙏🥂
Best decision I made in my marriage was to stop trying to sleep with my wife. The anger, rage and resentment started to fade. now, 5-6 years later, my own bedroom, I'm miserable but it's better than trying and be the only one. Just one night, decided to go sleep on the couch and never looked back. I highly recommend it. Keeps things quiet while the kids grow up.
best answer: divorce, and a better partner.
Its only able to be fixed if BOTH sides see it as a problem and will even try to discuss it…….i'm the only one that see's it as a problem……can't even discuss it without getting accused of being unfair to her and that as she put it "we've had kids, we don't need to have sex anymore"
After a while you no longer care about sex because you are now room mates with the occasional benefits (benefits with no spark)…
We have boring basic sex maybe once every 4-6mths…. the spark, connection, excitement its all gone. I just don't care about sex with her anymore 🙁
My now ex was abused in her childhood. She hooked me – barely – in the first years – and then once our adopted kid came she totally stopped. And now I look at it – she was never IN it spiritually, emotionally. I stayed over 20 years. i gave up even asking.
I lost my manhood after my stroke
Watching from Ireland
What is your spouse is constantly accusing you of cheating? He thinks I’ve cheated earlier in our marriage and I didn’t. I haven’t ever cheated but I can’t convince him of it. He’s the one that cheated on me. I forgave him because I truly love him. I’m menopausal because of a full hysterectomy and I’ve been having a lot of issues with it. I get UTI’s easily and every time I do, he gets mad and has this idea in his head that I’ve cheated and that’s why I have one.
It’s over y’all. Sexless marriages don’t work. Period.
I accepted a role reassignment 42 years ago when she decided that because she was pregnant, sex would hurt the baby. I moved for husband to Dad. Sex picked back up a bit because our second was born 18 months later. Money stress, work travel, ear infections, her mom, my mom, allergies all became higher priorities than “us”. Two more kids (and I swear we only did it twice) provided more stress and pressure add to that my wife not believing that real people have sex. Religion, guilt, shame and god forbid someone hear you or know you had sex. Add to that that she is a clean freak and control freak so no surprises, nothing that involves physical exertion, sweat, smells or body fluids of any type. To paraphrase the movie Fight Club, “the first rule about sex club is you don’t talk about sex club” to which I will add “unless you are fall down drunk.” Anyway, thanks for doing these and I loved the “toy Tuesday” idea. I would totally do that but the last time I surprised her with a tiny vibe, she went ballistic..and not in a good way. If we don’t address this soon we will be physically unable to since we are “old”. I will continue to shop for ideas.
I just plum FORGOT for the past 15 years until my wife reminded me
I am in a sexless relationship, which is sexless primarily because of me. However, my partner alternately pretends that it is no big deal and then, when I try to initiate conversations about it, says that he has no part in fixing it, and that it is my problem alone to remedy, as if it is as simple as flipping a light switch. I feel so powerless.
Whoever didn’t want sex with you needs their eyes checked lol
I don't see how this conversation would even apply to a "sexual relationship" outside of the commitment of marriage. For men, the rules of business, if you don't place a value and price on a thing , men will just take it and will feel no obligation to compensate – because it's seen as "free". Think "trick or treating". Kids don't feel an obligation to pay or compensate you for giving them candy. In this, women screw themselves by not requiring the commitment of marriage before delivering the goods. When there is no commitment requirement, there is no obligation to give the other the kind of sex the woman wants or to even follow any rules. Same for men, a woman who gives her sex away is less inclined to give you what you want when the kids come and the money runs low or to follow any rules to correct that relationship problem.
I tend to go by the definition as described by Michele Wiener Davis " A sexless marriage is when one or both spouses are not getting the kind of sex (that satisfies that individual) they want or desire." Most sexless marriages can be resolved through compassionate communication about your spouse's need and a selfless consideration for each other. No one gets married to be celibate, but I do agree that a sexless marriage can begin to infect the health of a marriage for a multitude of reasons – all of which can be remedied if the both spouses are committed and follow some basic marriage rules and guidelines.
It is very sad but I have been in a sexless marriage for a long time. She is a beautiful woman but has had no interest in sex after about 10 years of marriage (sex with her was great during those 10 years). So, my solution has been solo sex trips overseas, once a year for about a month. I get it out of my system and go back to my routine for another year…
35 years of marriage. 9 years living as roommates. No sexual relationship ar all. I'm done. Refuse to live in a sexless marriage.
Been going through sex less for years but it’s not me but it’s hard being trying to do everything right and it goes nowhere no sex at all it stinks I been praying 🙏 for long time 😢
Boy do we need talk see your what you think on what I been going on in past 24 years but I still hear I believe in Jesus and Father God but I have a story tell you what my life going on but it’s not me in this issue 😢
Wifes are the worst thing to ever happen to Men!!!!
I get told NO so often, I stopped trying…
He has ed and we haven't had sex in 5yrs, I feels very hurt. and tried to help him
I don’t believe in divorce because I made the commitment for better or worse but do to the sexless marriage I’m in a deep depression and I don’t know how to get out of it
Ladies. Sex should never be a reason for divorce. And in my practice I see that sexless marriages are too often the leading cause for divorce. The man is attracted to his wife but the wife no longer wants to have sex. Her job is done. She doesn't need it anymore. Big problem. If your man is attracted to you remember that this is a plus, not a negative. You are beautiful. Attractive. Sexy. Deserving. Any healthy man will want to have sex with you if he's attracted to you. How many times? A healthy make would prefer once a day. That's every day ladies. Maybe he doesn't admit this to you because he doesn't want to bother you. But if he had a choice he would love you every day. The once or twice a week is an absolute minimum for most men. Forget about once a month and so on. That's unhealthy. Women; please don't be too shy and take initiative sometimes. Buy the most sexy lingerie you can find. Something raunchy like crotchless panties, a luxe ouvert bra (available for example from fleurdumal). Buy a toy for yourself but let him use it on you (maybe pick one together… it's exciting and gets the blood pumping). Play some some soft music. Light some candles. Talk dirty during the act. Let your animal side out. Maybe watch a sexy movie of a couple having sex on the beach. Don't use your mind too much. Don't overthink. Just be your horny voluptuous sensual beautiful you. Let your hips dance. Ride your man. Touch yourself while your partner pleases you. Tell your man what you like. Speak. Moan. Let go. Men love it when their women is having a good time. It is such a shame that so many marriages run into problems because the woman decides to withhold sex from her husband. Sex is a gift. Enjoy it ladies. Please talk to your doctor about hormone balancing if your need is not what it used to be. There's solutions. Estrogen creams. Etc. Have fun being naughty. Please don't blow up your marriage. Besides the fact that sex is sacred; your husband and your children need a stable family. And so do you. So love, please love and allow yourself to be loved. You are worthy. You are sexy. Enjoy!
Sometimes it's no discussion, just a decision made by one side that offers nothing for the other person in the relationship
Get a Mistress
I dont want to sound badly, but the conversation is baloney. I did all the house chorses before I went to work. I was loving and communicated my intimation or seducing her that evening. Mood lighting, music, everything I could do to seduce.. Shut down cold. Tired, maybe tomorrow. Make it up to you….15 years laters later, still waiting. Would have left years ago, if not for providing for children. Fuck my life….
Yeah. It's the "me too" era. I hear no 3 times, and I move on. It's not worth a loss of all my assets, and prison time.
Treat her like a LAST priority, women want what they can't have, hints why they want bad boys and NOT good men
The scientific community and medical community will tell you that 2 percent of the world population is Asexual. Asexuality is a spectrum. Not all Asexuals are the same. If you are married to someone who is a Sex Averse Asexual then that means that they have no libido and no sex drive and that the act of sex sickens and repulses them. This does not mean that they don't love you. You just need to deal with it or marry someone who is not Asexual. I am Demisexual/Asexual. Demisexuals don't want or think about sex unless they are in love with you and know you and trust you. If there is no bond or connection or trust the Demi will be just as The Sex Averse Asexual in your presence. I am not in love. I would rather learn computer programming than have sex.