Caitlin V., MPH, Resident Sexologist at Royal, is a sex and relationship coach who helps people gain confidence, satisfaction, and deep transformation both inside and outside the bedroom.Visit for more full content www.caitlinvneal.com
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Is Anxiety Ruining Your Sex Life?
Last longer in bed, have more sex in your relationship, become an amazing lover. Watch Caitlin V as she shares sex tips, relationship advice, and personal insights here on YouTube.
27 Comments
27 Comments
For those of you who asked, here's the direct link to apply for coaching with me: https://caitlinvneal.typeform.com/to/aJO6Y3Ho
Caitlin I'm diagnosed bipolar with depression and anxiety and I was having performance anxiety for 2 years since I quit drinking alcohol. I sort of lost interest in sex and didn't know why until my girlfriend went to visit her daughter in another state who was having our second granddaughter . She left November 17 the 2022 and didn't come home until January 18th 2023. During that time I was able to get in touch with myself so to speak and realized that I was worried about how long I would last so I did a lot of research on what I could do to help me get back into the swing of things again. Watching your videos gave me some great advice and techniques that I could put to use. I couldn't wait for her to come home so I could put what I learned to use. Now that she's home I'm having a hard time bringing it up to her what was going on with me and the fact that I would like to have sex again. I'm not really sure how to bring it up, when I think of it I loose my nerve and just shy away from it. I'm not really a dominant person I'm more submissive,. Thank you for your videos, now if I could just put what I learned into play all would be better.
Yeah, intimacy is traumatic.
Anxiety is a major factor.
Both sides feel it hard.
…..Once the doubt of bringing your woman joy is there; it affects everything.
Life looses meaning.
8:34 Deep truth, felt that in my soul.
Anxiety can definitely ruin your sex life !
Like that 'anxiety' you get when your F/buddy starts increasing her expectations around not just your frequency together …. but her 'continuity' with the rest of your life ?
Uh-oh…..
what part of it's 'just sex' has been somehow forgotten ….and when does a guy start wondering what 'accidents' could happen, regardless of when they say "oh I know that"…. over… and over… and over again….. when phoning a few times a day just to 'chit-chat' ?
Whoopsie Daisies… time to change mounts.
Great info, Cait 👍😉
My girlfriend doesn't want to try some poses, anal and oral with me because she had a bad experience with her ex while doing those things. She only had 1 partner before me, he took her virginity. I have more experience( and since I follow you ) I know I can make these things a great experience for her and it would improve our relationship. How can I convince her to give it a chance? If she would try them with me and than say that she doesn't like it, totally fine.
I'm addicted to pleasing my partner and you have helped me in that category so much to broaden my horizons and confidence. Thanks for everything you do, and keep up the awesome content you provide.
So true
Your new haircut is absolutely lovely. Brings out your smiling eyes even more 🙂
#3 it is. When you have the tendency that stress increases you l*bido, #3 might become fairly easy to get into. And it is now occupying the rare time windows I have that I could/should better use for finding a partner. Thanks for giving me the hint that, if I can't make stress go away, I might want to look into other methods of dealing with stress that do not take up as much time as #3, so I can actually free time windows to go and find a partner.I guess I should try that first before considering a change in employment.
Another form of anxiety that I have dealt with is what I might call "Denial Anxiety". This has showed up for me when I have got myself into a relationship that I should not have. For example, I have dated women who did not speak my love languages well. I was in denial about this and my body tried to tell me with feelings of anxiety in and out of the bedroom. Finally when I left those relationships, I was able to hear the message my body was telling me: "Keep looking for the right woman to meet your needs."
I definitely have this myself but is it always performance anxiety or just being insecure about your own physical appearance
+CaitlinV Roger sex being a source of anxiety in certain cases. In my opinion, the ideal sex act would be an opportunity for co-regulation — an 'üpothēsē I developed as a follower of The Personal Development School® (Concord, ON, CAN): May be several years before I can do co-regulation as a lab exercise for the Course "Attachment Styles & Sex."
Exercise before sex can help temporarily break out of anxiety.
So I had a very dysfunctional sexual relationship with a former partner. Over time it came out that she could not have an orgasm because she had an abortion in the past. The guilt was an incredible. Perhaps we could have survived through open communication but it didn’t happen and it killed us.
Hey, you look good. I wonder if you have a boyfriend.
Thanks for the info
Definitely have performance anxiety. I go soft right at the point of penetration
PE affects people relating to all skills not just sex, really good video, fine analysis of anxiety in relationship to sex.
Big stress
You are literally correct that we all have anxieties whether they be global domestic or even economic
I would like to point out that not everyone shares all of the same anxieties such as a loved relative battling cancer or congenital heart failure (I refer to the film I pointed out as an example of women wanting to see us guys make a gesture of good will towards others as a gift called the Christmas Shoes from a comment on the holiday video on what to get your partner on the “congenital heart failure”
Look up that film look at my comment on the holiday gifts video) we might be losing our job etc
Point is everyone has different anxieties and that might follow them into the bedroom and we might be distracted by them when doing it
Point on sex as a coping mechanism: you may be able to get it but if you’re not willing to deal with your problems you’re not going to be able to conquer your problems
I have been dealing with this and more for years but fortunately i /we have found an amazing coach in Caitlin V. She is teaching me how to get out of my own head and have fun and my honey that it's ok to have needs,desires,fantasies and that she is not a bad word for it. The communication is getting better everyday. Thank you.
Your points are great!! Performance anxiety made me give up dating and a physical connection. In therapy/meds for 20 years but no improvement. Good luck out there folks.
i'm 28, because of my sex-performance anxiety (and not just sex related), my sex and dating life instead of being 100% is, realistically, respectively 5,5% & 0,5% (whereas 50% would be "passable")
Performance anxiety comes from porn and society. Men are often told they need to be able to go all night, they need to have bigger and longer penis’ and everything else due to porn. If we focus on reminding people it’s okay to only last 2 to 30 minutes, your penis is fine just as it is. Rewire people’s brains.
Anxiety has killed me even dating. Dating and sex would be a dream 🤔
Have you ever treated someone with position dependent erectile dysfunction?
Thank you
Nope.
It's women
who ruin my sex
life.
With not needing that.