Caitlin V., MPH, Resident Sexologist at Royal, is a sex and relationship coach who helps people gain confidence, satisfaction, and deep transformation both inside and outside the bedroom.Visit for more full content www.caitlinvneal.com
Subscribe Now
Jealous over your partner’s past? How to get over it!
Last longer in bed, have more sex in your relationship, become an amazing lover. Watch Caitlin V as she shares sex tips, relationship advice, and personal insights here on YouTube.
38 Comments
38 Comments
I am jealous of my girlfriends ex because she had a mff with him and wont do it with me. Its like she had an experience with him she wont have with me.
No not jealous , embrassed she was banging other people for few months after expressing a interest in me , i will be spending a few weeks or months doing the same thing , and i don't see a problem with it , everyone was fine with her doing it before settling with me , i will do the same thing before i get stuck settling with her , 😊 ,
I want to sleep with other people for a few weeks before i get stuck with her , same thing she did , that fair i believe , don't care about her past , just tje people she fucked when sayings she was interested in me , and if you don't agree your full of crap and a Hippocratic
I’m happy though that you acknowledge for the most part that for most men, it is definitely not a Bible thumping holier than thou concern, but simply a “dude, there’s no way I can ever measure up to all these other guys” concern.
As a guy who is not particularly physically appealing, and who, for much of his 20s was still reeling from a girlfriend specifically telling me that I sucked in bed and didn’t last long enough, it made all of those things even even worse than they normally would be.
I am married now, but even before that, I never engaged in a lot of casual sex, both because I am more monogamous and relationship oriented by nature, and also, I didn’t frankly think I could pull it off. So if I was dating a girl who had a fair amount of casual sex, I assume there was something wrong with me because I hadn’t.
Not insecurity
Its biological nature
I never ask about my partners history and I don’t tell mine neither, don’t really care, because if you are not the first, you won’t be the last. Like Chris Rock said, whatever the number she tells you then times 3. Just be happy with what you have now. I never tell my number because I know girls don’t like to hear it either, I always say gentlemen don’t kiss and tell. If you must tell, lie! Sometimes being diplomatic is way better than constant fights later on.
Totally unexpected, I just realized that Mario updated his favorite way to tackle ED and it's crazy! Although what he previously talked about was pretty decent, it was difficult to follow, I just go'ogled the latest in Mario’s Thunderous Erections, it's so much simpler and potent now!
How can anyone be jealous of a garden appliance !? Young women out of college with 100 bodies is nothing to be jealous about. It is sad and destructive . Imagine going to a party and some men talk to you about how good your wife was in the past ! very helpfull. Who wants that kinf of partner ?
I love it . She attacks men saying that “you are insecure “. So what if it’s not jealousy, but envy ? So try to explain this situation, you have to have intercourse with the other person, in the same house, better yet the same bedroom that they have been with the other guys in…… I do appreciate the that you basically said I’m f’ed up as a football bat. You can add that to your list of boner killers.
I have no issue with a womans past
How do I know if my wife went to sleep with another woman
Found out my baby momma had been dp'ed in a mmf threesome 9 years after we got together. Yeah that didn't go well…
I accept all things but why I don't check partner phone because if I committed to one girl and I want to be with rest of life so I want to know what is she doing behind me and if I love one girl I never see other girls and I expect same things too
Screw the shit out of it
Great advice!
Omg that's my guy now
I'm not particularly jealous of the kind of sex a woman has had, but I cannot take her seriously after I know she fucked other guys. I will fuck but there is -10000% chance I'm getting in a relationship with her. Is that also retroactive jealousy?
Sorry lady but you are mostly wrong on this one you don't know men good enough ! No body wants a run through wife cause you can't trust what she tells you ! You are just making men look bad and talk about patriarchy like a feminist !
This video discussed a specific topic, Retroactive Jealousy. I don’t think most guys want to envision their girlfriend/wife being with another guy (yes I know for some this is actually a turn on, but for most it’s not). However the majority of guys who have that fleeting thought will shrug it off and say to themselves “I don’t need to be thinking of that crap” and simply let it go. However people with RJ cannot simply let it go. And those with RJOCD have an even harder time with the topic. It can literally be debilitating. Anyone truly dealing with these issues should seek out help. One great resource on the topic is Zachary Stockill. Look him up, he’s spent the last 10 years on the topic and has a lot of free info on the topic as well as courses available.
Everyone’s story is unique. The amount of woman bashing, stereotyping and cliché spewing in some of these comments is disappointing. And I’m certain a lot of the guys making the comments are far from virginal themselves and live the double standard without any qualms.
I do believe pasts should be discussed fairly early in a relationship. And yes, if you find someone was a serial cheater that’s a big red flag. But if you find someone was a serial monogamist and had many past relationships there are so many possible reasons for that. Maybe they were young, experimental and learning about themselves. Maybe they had crap happen in their childhood that got carried into their adult relationships. Maybe they were looking for “The One” each time but found the guy was a dick, not trustworthy, or simply not a good match over time. Maybe when young they fell for the “Bad Boy” bullsh*t and realized as they matured that those guys were shallow and not worth the investment and are now ready for a real relationship.
People are entitled to live what ever life they wish and if it doesn’t mesh with what you want then you pleasantly say have a nice day and move on. Nobody is the bad guy. People are also entitled to change and put their past behind them if they wish. The most important thing is who someone is today, with you, not who they were a year ago, 5 years ago or 20 years ago. If in this crazy messed up world we live in you are able to find someone who makes you happy, who is true and honest, who treats you great and you truly enjoy spending time with them consider yourself very fortunate! Their past should not be a factor if you love who they are today and who you are with them. On the flip side, if you insist on judging a person strictly on their “body count” you stand the chance of missing out on sharing your life with an incredible person who knows what they do and don’t want and are actually less likely to look elsewhere because they know what’s out there and thru it all they’ve chosen you.
I don’t get jealous I just won’t date them. I’m not going to be with someone who have their body up to a bunch of people. It means she views sex in a more casual way than I do which is fine but I could never be with someone who doesn’t sex as something extremely intimidate.
Well done Caitlin….the message I take is live in the present. Love your up front approach. Succinct and sensible. 👌🏻🙂
Simple solution – Don't marry someone with past relationship.
Putting different types of fuel in a vehicle is bad. Same applies to women
Yep it matters white men leave white women if they found out if his woman slept with a black guy.
I'm a religious person and this is one of the things that makes saving sexual activities till marriage a great idea. Saving it till marriage assures no comparisons and no jealousy which improves the quality of the relationship.
Bros if you find about her past and it didn't meet what she was showing (an Imitation) then leave her. This type of love gurus says this just because they don't wanna feel unwanted so they try making you the bad person for not liking a Nymphos. Studies says girls with huge past don't have lasting marriage at all.
Basically can't make a wife out of a ho3. And I'm pretty sure she'll say if I don't like her content she shouldn't watch her and that's why there's nobody opposing her thoughts and people needs to think for themselves instead of listening to someone on advice only worked for them
7:16 then what is a slut? Or is it something does not exist? There are playboy or fuckbois who have multiple sex with women so does they not Exist. What if she's actually a slut and left that life because she got tired of only getting sex and then used me(who clearly doesn't want a girl that type) to get romance. Why not ask those dude she had been with? Why after giving to every stranger or known person she wants to be with me?
One thing you clearly don't understand is that men and women don't value the same. If you don't like a dude with huge past nobody in this world would give a crap so why do you care if guys don't like women past? Your husband doesn't probably because he got as much he wanted and so did you. But majority of people aren't like that
6:32 if it's that horrible then It's easy to say she's not wife material lol. People who Knows they kept everything on a limit will not fear judgment but women who knows exactly that how much is enough to make a man leave her will not say it
If there's something she needs to hide and I can't accept the reality then it's possible all this time she faked her character and made a imitation of something men would usually like. The usual I have a nasty past but now I'm trying to act like I'm been wife material all this time
Have you heard of pair bonding it’s a real thing woman do during sex the more partners she has the lower chance she can bond with her husband plus she will always have thoughts of the best man out her exes if that’s not you. So do your research on pair bond.
Great video !!
Caitlyn, thank you so much! nothing has provided relief/hope like your coaching video. I have struggled with compulsion-level retroactive jealousy for over a year . I am madly in love with my wife of over 20 years but she is the only woman I have ever even kissed romantically while her experience was more normal for a stunningly beautiful woman in her mid-twenties. I knew these feelings were a result of my insecurity, but never thought that this could be not just endured but make me a better partner. You made a huge difference in my life!
What if you really don't care and are open to whatever she tells you, but she refuses to or says she doesn't remember much?
Then you start to wonder and it becomes a bigger deal than it was
Disagree 💯percent
Asking/discussing the past is more about how they make decisions, their values, character, judgment, etc, and less about jealousy.
Nobody wants to ride the community bike — the one that sits available on the corner for everyone to ride.
Fantastic video! I'd love to see one on dealing with partners with post trauma, ie sexual assault and how to overcome secondary symptoms and make them feel safe and comfortable
This double standard about body count makes women tempted to lie to minimize their sexual partners.. Then when a relationship gets serious and you are getting to know friends and family, details come out… Now she needs to keep her story so the lies get deep so the trust train comes to bash the relationship off the tracks regardless if the body count was acceptable .. TRUTH always wins in the end no mater what… ladies if you need to lie to get him, you never had him to begin with….
Never asked Nevercared.., it's none of my business..
Body count should be discussed early on! If it's higher than a handful? Move on men ,nothing worth hanging around for here! She can't pair bond with you at that point anyway! This is a major contributor to the high number of women with 4 kids with four different fathers,divorced and destined to be single and miserable till death!