Caitlin V., MPH, Resident Sexologist at Royal, is a sex and relationship coach who helps people gain confidence, satisfaction, and deep transformation both inside and outside the bedroom.Visit for more full content www.caitlinvneal.com
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What to do if you have Delayed Ejaculation
Last longer in bed, have more sex in your relationship, become an amazing lover. Watch Caitlin V as she shares sex tips, relationship advice, and personal insights here on YouTube.
48 Comments
48 Comments
As a someone who can go for an hour easly, I agree that slowing down is the key. The faster and harder I thrust, the harder it becomes to come. Actually in those cases I have to pull out, chill for few minutes and do it gently. Then I come
What if you strok yasel off and get the sensation but without the spunk?
You completely ignored the fact that delayed orgasm can happen without a partner. Delayed orgasm is a side effect of many antidepressants. I’m disappointed that you failed to address or acknowledge this large group of men that suffer from delayed orgasm.
I think for me there are three things happening number one too much porn masturbation number two too much worrying if my girlfriend really likes to do oral sex on me and number three the fact that I may not be able to pleasure her once I do have an orgasm. This is a discussion. I will be having with my girlfriend to fix this issue that I have.
i just want to say thanks so much i had this problem too long but your low cut top got me over it, thanks from the base to the tip 😉
I just figured it was my age
It is not the worst thing. Just keep trying or arrange for another go.
I'm thinking more and more it was using antidepressants for ten years
If you are on an anti-depressant you can forget your old sex life
Anti depressants can also be part of this problem for some people.
It sucks
Talk to fast, slow down and enjoy your topic
Have this for years. Not sure if this problem I want fix because everyone else is having fun.
Guys who won't admit that's it's porn, simply dont want to stop watching, they need to grow up.
Everything she said is 100% correct.
I have ADHD and i fidget a lot with my hands. and after a period of more or less stimulans. I found out that when im home and im gaming, the moments i needed to wait in between games or spectating till end of round. my fidget was to stroke my dick through my pants. And i am known in the Spicy side, i bought myself a chasity cage so i can unlearn this fidget habbit when im home. and it makes a slight difference already.
Sometimes ejaculate in 10 minutes but sometimes can go to 25 minutes and start asking myself what's wrong with me, erection is still there but I just can't cum and stop with sex, my girl was very happy because she cum 3 times. Very offten wake up with hard erection and hurts sometimes, this morning didn't sleep last 3 hours, have 44 years old but I see nothing is change when go back to my 20s it's still same situation. Caitlin V please help
For older guys, remember that many medications can cause Delayed Ejaculation. One that comes to mind is Tamsulosin (Flomax). Especially after prolonged use. If that is the case for you, do not stop cold turkey, the consequences will be painful. Talk to your doctor about the possibility of prescribing an alternative medicine.
If she isn't willing to make you happy find a woman who does.
Do you have any advice or suggestions for DE and ED that is caused by SSRI antipressants, in my case escitalopram? The biggest issue is DE because I can't finish 90% of the time. Switching to bupropion solved the issue but I had bad side effects, headaches, constantly agitated and quick to anger, not good at all. I tried venlafaxine but that made the DE worse and did not help much with depression & anxiety. Back on escitalopram and I feel so much better, but still have DE issues. The longer I go without finishing the worse my bladder becomes, causing urgencies and near accidents. I take oxybutynin and "super prostate" vitamins to help, because in the past it was happening daily. Being able to finish relieves the bladder for a few days. I have tried suggestions like you mentioned, but nothing seems to work. Going off antidepressants is not an option and I can't afford a psychologist to see if that would work. I don't know what to do at this point, and it is very frustrating. Anyone in the comments experience this and found something that works? Thank you.
This is great! I feel that i have some tools and better insight into combating DE. Thank you for articulating this serious condition that has been plaguing me in a relationship for 3 years. The only way i can get off, or ejacualate is with my girlfriend giving me intense Head and then lubing me up to watch porn as she leaves the room. When im about to climax i yell ' Babe" and she scoots in to finish me off and swallows as well. Even though its kinda like cheating, it does give me a satifactory release, but with some shame that its not completly normal.
I wonder if its a prostate issue or something like retrograde ejaculation.
Thanks for the info, I tried what I told you about and it was mind blowing to see her writhing with pleasure and ready for anything. It started when I learned to last at least 30 minutes go’ogling the latest in Greyzar Drinbo's PE Solution and now she just can't have enough
I have a feeling a lot of it is all the shit chemicals that we are constantly being exposed to on a daily basis – through the air we breath, the water we drink, the foods we consume, to the shampoos and body washes we use these days – all have a part to play on why so many young men are experiencing this problem.
How is to ejaculate for 6,9 minutes depends on the excitement? Is it delayed or too rockie and faster 😂
Very helpful…👍
Its psychological
It's a real issue that destroys relationships. In my entire ilfe I only ever once came inside of a girl, and it was nothing I can recreate again. And I was so tensed up in the moment, I didn't even really enjoy it either. It was 100% effort and fast friction of her, while I just laid back and tried to get it out.
Oftentimes I can't even cum with my own hands during sex, when alone it's not a big issue.
But what I usually ended up doing is get a strong vibrator and use that to make myself ejaculate, which is still very, very, ery difficult and has like a 60% success rate only, and basically only works if Itry to ignore the woman I am with and focus only on that hyperstimulation.
When I was younger I once went 6 months without sex, masturbation or porn. And when I finally was about to ahve sex again, I thought I would be cured and it would be so much better and then I just had the same issues as always. Oh no. I was gutted.
Any doctor I talked to just told me to cut out masturbation and that was the whole of advice I ever got from multiple doctors. In the meanwhile I couldn't have regular sex with any one (still can't) because after a while, especially if it's just casual sex without any intended relationship, they just distance themselves more and more. I think for women it is highly important that the man cums, if he doesn't, they get hurt as if they're not pretty enough or something.
I am 26 now and it's a huge burden on me and I really tried everything so far, but it's not a very well known issue and definitely not as well researched because of that. I hope I will be able to have normal sex before I am 30. Since last year or so I am also starting to have weaker erections and sometimes really just lose it (for some reason I can't have doggy sex because my dick just goes flaccid almost immediately, even though I like the view and the position? Weird).
It just feels like ejaculating during sex is the holy grail of my life, and I am getting more and more obsessed with it, even though I can't achieve it.
Thanks to the video, I now know that the vibrator thing was totally over the top and is the opposite of what I should have been doing, thankfully I haven't been using toys for very long now. My fleshlight is actually quite nice, haven't had a partner in a while but I am getting more and more consistent orgasms by pumping it. I bought my first one many years ago, but I usually just used it as a repacement for my hand, which didn't do much. But now that I actually have a shower mount and simulate sex it works quite well, especially in certain positions. I am just adding this, because it seems to me that this is worth knowing – owning a fleshlight and using it as a replacement for your hand is not doing much, you need to do the motions you would normally use during sex, to get somewhere.
Well, let's hope I meet a beautiful woman soon and get to try myself with her. Maybe I am cured now. Who knows. If not, I keep going with the fleshlight, throw out the vibrator, and maybe try to cut out porn.
I would like to share my issue, which I think has been resolved (ps I am 64.) I have been someone for past 8 months having issues with errections and no vaginal orgasm. 1st I had resume tx for my prostate fix urinary urgency. Then I had 6 shock wave sessions and then continued with vacume pumping also now using uber lube great for increased sensation. I kept feeling like I was close to coumming but couldn't cum.
Then last night she looked into my eyes during sex turning off all my negative thoughts,
Bam, I erupted. It took me 10 min to get off before this I was going straight for 30 min, then I would dwell and think I'm tired and 0 Cumming. Don't feel bad for her she can multi orgasm forever, and her orgasms at times are so strong that she almost shoots my penis from her vagina.
This may help some of us, connect with your lover
Look into her eyes this should help turn off negative thoughts, enjoy the moment! It's amazing how our brains can effect Cumming!
Also take Lots of citrulline
And Tong Kat ali, every day
Multiple times daily.
I can ejaculate without a condom NO PROBLEM. But with a condom its really difficult, I even use the thin ones
Holding off to pleasure women causes it . Better to go when you want, after time the time delay will increase as you get bored with her and her excitement will rise as you last longer
But you haven't said anything yet,or hint ,you keep on repeating your topic without explaining anything
I have had this problem for four years now, its got worse since I have been taking pregabalin for hip pain. I am 52, I don't have a girlfriend, I have to make do with hand relief.
"I deserve to have a great sex life" – please, someone tell my wife…
What are the qualifications to be a sex coach?
Cabergoline and sublingual Troches of apomorphine work all the time! Dr Rocket T
You are totally awesome I finally figured it out thank you so much
I got prescribed trazodone and it fixed it right away.
Thanks! Best explanation I have heard so far.
You’re sweet.. is it ok that I have a crush on you..? And I’m jealous your boyfriend is so lucky 🍀
hey honey I had a stroke in 2007 with that my penis and my nuts all went numb. my penis lost a lot of size went from a nice fat 11 inches to now about a normal 6 inches and quite smaller around, I do have partial feeling in my penis now but the boys just won't do their job is there anything that will help me
Step one. Get your bloodwork done
Not caused by porn
Actual causes
The following are individual causes but some men can have more than one
Causes:
Low testosterone
High estradiol
High SHGB
Low DHT
Finesteride
Antidepressants
Chlamydia not all variants
Improper nutrition
Alcohol
Cigarettes
Other drugs
There may be other causes and porn with masterbation might make it worse, it’s not the cause
Brilliant
I have suffered from delayed ejaculation for a couple of years. Thanks for the tips. I’m going to try these and see what happens. Keep up the great work.!
Thank you again Caitlin. Im afraid my delayed ejaculation is incurable. I have tried everything. I guess the next step is a sex therapist.
I’m 26 and just started being sexually active and have delayed ejaculation from years of porn and masturbation and taking Lexapro. I have no problem with getting hard and staying hard. It’s great for her because she orgasms.
All these tips really helped me a lot. I also can’t oversell her suggestion of focusing on the sensation and pleasure during sex. I changed my mindset where the goal was about pleasure and the sensations, orgasm was just a bonus. And like she said… don’t over stimulate. If you keep trying and trying and it doesn’t happen, then stop, cuddle, drink some water, talk to your partner (not about sex necessarily) and if the moment strikes, then try again. I found that sometimes I’d be so… let’s say full, that i would ejaculate without an orgasm but then have sex again a few minutes later and have a really intense orgasm after.